


Sale

by countfuckingcrouton



Category: Aldnoah.Zero
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9170038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countfuckingcrouton/pseuds/countfuckingcrouton
Summary: Cruhteo, Slaine, Asseylum, and Lemrina go shopping together. Awkwardness ensues.





	

“Hey, men, Asseylum and I gotta get some clothes- can the two of you occupy yourselves until we’re done?”  
Cruhteo, Slaine, Asseylum, and Lemrina stood in the middle of an Earth shopping center in casual clothes. They were getting a few of odd glances every now and then, but besides that- nothing drastic.  
“Are you sure you don’t need an escort?” Cruhteo asked, looking around suspiciously.  
Asseylum giggled and hugged Cruhteo around the middle. “Don’t worry! This is a really safe neighborhood! Besides- it’ll be good for you and Slaine to have some guy-to-guy bonding time!” She exclaimed.  
Slaine felt his stomach drop several feet as he nervously glanced at Cruhteo. They really hadn't been alone together in a while. A while meaning since the lovely incident two years ago when Slaine had acquired the scars all over his chest.  
Asseylum waved and ran off, hand in hand with Lemrina, leaving Cruhteo and Slaine in an awkward silence. They stood there for a while, unmoving.  
“So… Y-you wanna walk around?” Slaine asked, his voice cracking.  
Cruhteo looked over at the Terran and opened his mouth to shoot a snide remark. However, he thought better of it, closed his mouth, and shrugged. The two started down the sidewalk in increasingly uncomfortable silence. Slaine cast desperately around for a conversation topic.  
“Oh, look! It’s a duck! Have you ever seen a duck, Count Cruhteo?” Slaine exclaimed, pointing to a fluffy, white duck. Silence. He glanced over his shoulder. “Count Cruhteo?”  
Where seconds ago there had been a grumpy Martian there was nothing. He looked around but couldn't see a trace of his companion. “Where did he go…?”  
The Martian’s attention had been caught by a large sign proclaiming “Quality whips- 50% off!” Interest piqued, he pushed open the glass door and stepped into the dark shop. He didn’t look at any of the other displays as he made a beeline for the whip case at the front desk. He bent over the glass top and looked at the available models. These did seem to be quality. And 50% off at that…  
“Y-Your Highness!” Slaine exclaimed, skidding to a halt in front of Asseylum and Lemrina who were in the skirt section.  
“What is it, Slaine? Where’d Cruhteo go?” Asseylum asked.  
“I lost him,” the Terran said embarrassedly. “We were walking and I turned around and when I looked back he was gone.”  
“How do you lose a tall, blonde aristocrat that would shoot a Terran if they looked at him wrong?” Lemrina asked incredulously.  
Slaine shrugged hopelessly. Asseylum glanced at the clock behind him.  
“I have a date with Inaho in an hour…” She murmured. Her blonde brow was furrowed as she considered her options. She turned to Lemrina. “Let’s check out now and then go look for Cruhteo together. Can we do the rest of our shopping tomorrow?” She pleaded with her sister.  
Lemrina shrugged. “Whatever.”  
Due to speedy customer service, the trio was ready to find their lost Count in five minutes. Not long after patrolling the sidewalk, Asseylum ran headlong into Lemrina.  
“Watch where you’re going!” Lemrina exclaimed huffily.  
The blonde princess stood rooted to the spot, her face a mask of horror. With a shaking finger, she pointed toward a store window. “Please tell me that’s not him…”  
“Yeah that’s him-” Slaine began. Then he saw the name of the store.  
Asseylum screamed. Lemrina screamed. Slaine screamed. The two princesses and the Terran crashed loudly into the store. Cruhteo turned around, holding a shopping bag.  
“Oh hello you three-”  
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!” Asseylum shrieked.  
“They were having a sale on whips-”  
“DID YOU LOOK AROUND?!” Asseylum pressed.  
Cruhteo rolled his eyes and for the first time, took a good look at the store’s other…merchandise. His face went so pale it was almost green. “Oh Rayregalia fucking Rayvers,” he breathed, now a delicate scarlet.


End file.
